Top 10 Ted Quotes
One of Seth MacFarlane's comedic masterpieces, Ted depicts the story of a teddy bear who came to life thanks to an innocent wish of five year old kid. What follows afterwards is an epic adventure of comedy, satire and a test of love and friendship. So let's take a look at some of the best Ted quotes.
Narrator: No matter how big a splash you make in this world whether you're Corey Feldman, Frankie Muniz, Justin Bieber or a talking teddy bear, eventually, nobody gives a s**t.
Ted: (while trying to convince John that Boston girls are the ugliest) See that the fact that you have to say that they are not that bad means that they are that bad; you ever hear a Boston girl have an orgasm, o yaaaa ,o yaaaa, haada haada, oh God that was so good now I'm gonna stuff my f*****g face in pepperidge farm
Narrator: Now if there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that nothing is more powerful than a young boy's wish. Except an Apache helicopter. An Apache helicopter has machine guns AND missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine.
Ted: John, don't hang up! I'm in trouble.
John: What do you mean, what kind of trouble?
Ted: They got me. That freaky guy from the park and that kid, who I think is his son but may also be his lover, I don't know!
Ted: Michelob Ultra Tuscan Orange Grapefruit. My God America is imploding.
Narrator: No matter how big a splash you make in this world whether you're Corey Feldman, Frankie Muniz, Justin Bieber or a talking teddy bear, eventually, nobody gives a s**t.
Frank: You think you got what it takes?
Ted: I'll tell you what I got. Your wife's p***y on my breath.
Frank: Nobody's ever spoken to me like that before.
Ted: That's because their mouths were full of your wife's box.
Frank: You're hired.
Ted: S**t.
Ted: (while trying to convince John that Boston girls are the ugliest) See that the fact that you have to say that they are not that bad means that they are that bad; you ever hear a Boston girl have an orgasm, o yaaaa ,o yaaaa, haada haada, oh God that was so good now I'm gonna stuff my f*****g face in pepperidge farm
Narrator: Now if there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that nothing is more powerful than a young boy's wish. Except an Apache helicopter. An Apache helicopter has machine guns AND missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine.
Ted: I look stupid.
John: No, you don't, you look dapper.
Ted: John, I look like something you give to your kid when you tell 'em Grandma died.
Ted: How about we play a little game of hide and seek?
Robert: I love hide and seek. I'll hide.
Ted: Wait now, hang on a sec, there. Your dad likes you to show good manners. Right, Tubby McFat-F**k?
Robert: Okay, you hide first.
Ted: Great. Fantastic. Okay, now you count to a hundred, and then you try to find me, okay?
Robert: Okay. Uh, do I need to wash my hands before I play this game?
Ted: No...yes...uhmm That's a weird f*****g question. No, just start counting.
Donny: You know Ted, when I was a little boy, I saw you on television. And I thought you were the most amazing, most wonderful thing I'd ever seen, ever. And I asked my dad if I could have a magically little teddy bear, too. And he said, "No."
Ted: Can you just email me the rest of this story?
Ted: John, don't hang up! I'm in trouble.
John: What do you mean, what kind of trouble?
Ted: They got me. That freaky guy from the park and that kid, who I think is his son but may also be his lover, I don't know!
Frank: You had s****l intercourse with a co-worker on top of the produce that we sell to the public.
Ted: I f****d her with a parsnip last week. And a sold the parsnip to a family with four small children.
Frank: That took guts. We need guts. I'm promoting you.
Ted: You got a lot of problems, don't ya?
Ted: Michelob Ultra Tuscan Orange Grapefruit. My God America is imploding.
Top 10 Snatch Quotes
Uncontrollable gypsies, psychopathic hitmen, guys who are renowned for dodging bullets, and as always, unlucky bastards; welcome to the world of Snatch. Written and directed by Guy Ritchie, the film portrays the ruthless criminal underworld of London with two interwined plots; one dealing with a stolen diamond and the other with underground boxing promotion. So without any delay, let's see some of the best quotes of Snatch.
Bullet Tooth Tony: You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidy.
Turkish: My name is Turkish. Funny name for an Englishman, I know. My parents to be were on the same plane when it crashed. That's how they met. They named me after the name of the plane. Not many people are named after a plane crash. That's Tommy. He tells people he was named after a gun, but I know he was really named after a famous 19th century ballet dancer.
Bullet Tooth Tony (while being pointed a gun at him by vinny and his crew): So, you are obviously the big d**k. The men on the side of ya are your balls. Now there are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey f****t balls.
Bullet Tooth Tony: D***s have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell p***y and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old p***y, and have brought your two little mincey f****t balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties muddled up. There's no p***y here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you.
Brick Top: In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary... come again???
Vinny: I thought you said he was a getaway driver. What the f**k can he get away from, eh?
Bullet Tooth Tony: You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidy.
Turkish: My name is Turkish. Funny name for an Englishman, I know. My parents to be were on the same plane when it crashed. That's how they met. They named me after the name of the plane. Not many people are named after a plane crash. That's Tommy. He tells people he was named after a gun, but I know he was really named after a famous 19th century ballet dancer.
Bullet Tooth Tony (while being pointed a gun at him by vinny and his crew): So, you are obviously the big d**k. The men on the side of ya are your balls. Now there are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey f****t balls.
Bullet Tooth Tony: D***s have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell p***y and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old p***y, and have brought your two little mincey f****t balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties muddled up. There's no p***y here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you.
Bullet Tooth Tony: Boris the Blade? As in Boris the Bullet-Dodger?
Avi: Why do they call him the Bullet-Dodger?
Bullet Tooth Tony: 'Cause he dodges bullets, Avi.
Brick Top: In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary... come again???
Vinny: I thought you said he was a getaway driver. What the f**k can he get away from, eh?
Avi: Should I call you Bullet? Tooth?
Bullet Tooth Tony: You can call me Susan if it makes you happy.
Sol: He's a natural, ain't you Tyrone?
Tyrone: 'course I am...
[reverses into parked van]
Vinny: A natural f*****g idiot.
Bullet Tooth Tony: A bookie's got blagged last night.
Avi: Blagged? Speak English to me, Tony. I thought this country spawned the f*****g language, and so far nobody seems to speak it.
Top 10 Lord of War Quotes
One of the best political dramas with some solid acting and terrific script, Lord of War highlights the issue of arms trafficking based on some real stories. The lead character is a notorious arms dealer, played by Nicolas Cage, who has his own rules of gunrunning, some of which are: "never get shot with your own merchandise; always have a foolproof way to get paid; never pick up a gun and join your customers; and never go to war, especially with yourself". Let's take a look at some of the best quotes of lord of war.
Yuri Orlov: You know who's going to inherit the earth? Arms dealers. Because everyone else is too busy killing each other.
Yuri Orlov: There are over 550 million firearms in worldwide circulation. That's one firearm for every twelve people on the planet. The only question is: How do we arm the other 11?
Yuri Orlov: There are two types of tragedies in life. One is not getting what you want, the other is getting it.
Yuri Orlov: Some of the most successful relationships are based on lies and deceit. Since that's where they usually end up anyway, it's a logical place to start.
Yuri Orlov: Every faction in Africa calls themselves by these noble names - Liberation this, Patriotic that, Democratic Republic of something or other. I guess they can't own up to what they usually are: the Federation of Worse Oppressors than the Last Bunch of Oppressors. Often, the most barbaric atrocities occur when both combatants proclaim themselves Freedom Fighters.
Agent Jack Valentine: Do you know why I do what I do? I mean, there are more prestigeous assignments. Keeping track of nuclear arsenels - you'd think that be more critical to world security. But it's not. No, nine out of ten war victims today are killed with assault rifles and small arms - like yours. Those nuclear weapons sit in their silos. Your AK-47, that's the real weapon of mass destruction.
Yuri Orlov: You can't force someone to fall in love with you but you can definitely improve your odds.
Yuri Orlov: I had a flair for languages. But I soon discovered that what talks best is dollars, dinars, drachmas, rubles, rupees and pounds fucking sterling.
Simeon Weisz: Bullets change governments far surer than votes.
Yuri Orlov: They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails."
Yuri Orlov: You know who's going to inherit the earth? Arms dealers. Because everyone else is too busy killing each other.
Yuri Orlov: There are over 550 million firearms in worldwide circulation. That's one firearm for every twelve people on the planet. The only question is: How do we arm the other 11?
Yuri Orlov: There are two types of tragedies in life. One is not getting what you want, the other is getting it.
Yuri Orlov: Some of the most successful relationships are based on lies and deceit. Since that's where they usually end up anyway, it's a logical place to start.
Yuri Orlov: Every faction in Africa calls themselves by these noble names - Liberation this, Patriotic that, Democratic Republic of something or other. I guess they can't own up to what they usually are: the Federation of Worse Oppressors than the Last Bunch of Oppressors. Often, the most barbaric atrocities occur when both combatants proclaim themselves Freedom Fighters.
Agent Jack Valentine: Do you know why I do what I do? I mean, there are more prestigeous assignments. Keeping track of nuclear arsenels - you'd think that be more critical to world security. But it's not. No, nine out of ten war victims today are killed with assault rifles and small arms - like yours. Those nuclear weapons sit in their silos. Your AK-47, that's the real weapon of mass destruction.
Yuri Orlov: You can't force someone to fall in love with you but you can definitely improve your odds.
Yuri Orlov: I had a flair for languages. But I soon discovered that what talks best is dollars, dinars, drachmas, rubles, rupees and pounds fucking sterling.
Simeon Weisz: Bullets change governments far surer than votes.
Yuri Orlov: They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails."
Top 10 The Dark Knight Quotes
The Dark Knight was one of the masterpieces of Christopher Nolan, having solid cast with superb acting, engaging plot, and of course, spectacular dialogues. It's pretty hard, almost ridiculous, to just pick only ten quotes and deem them as best. Nonetheless, without further ado, here are some of the best quotes of The Dark Knight.
The Joker: Introduce a little anarchy, upset the established order and everything becomes chaos.
Harvey Dent: You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become a villain.
The Joker: All you care about is money. This city deserves a better class of criminals and I'm gonna give it to them.
The Joker: Don't talk like one of them. You're not! Even if you'd like to be. To them, you're just a freak, like me. They need you right now, but when they don't, they'll cast you out, like a leper. You see, their morals, their code, it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these ... civilized people, they'll eat each other.
The Joker: Madness, is like gravity. All it takes is a little push.
Bruce Wayne: Sometimes the truth isn't good enough; sometimes, people deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded.
Harvey Two Face: You were wrong. The world is cruel, and the only morality in a cruel world is chance...Unbiased...Unprejudiced...Fair.
The Joker: If you are good at something, never do it for free.
Alfred Pennyworth: Some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
The Joker: I believe whatever doesn't kill you, simply makes you...stranger.
Top 10 Rounders Quotes
A well scripted, well acted, and with an interesting plot, rounders portrays the life of Mike McDermott, a small time gambler who gets into some serious trouble after vouching for the wrong guy. The movie depicts almost every emotional aspect associated with the 'swings' of No-Limit Hold'Em. Lets see some of the best quotes that Rounders brought with it.
Mike McDermott: If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then YOU ARE THE SUCKER.
Prof. Petrovsky: We can't run from who we are. Our destiny chooses us.
Mike McDermott: (quoting a saying of Jack King) Few players recall big pots they have won, strange as it seems, but every player can remember with remarkable accuracy the outstanding tough beats of his career.
Jo: (after leaving Mike) I learned it from you.You always told me this was the rule. Rule number one: Throw away your cards the moment you know they can't win. Fold the f****** hand.
(After mike leaves saying that he has to be with his girlfriend)
Worm: She's really got him by the balls.
Petra: That's not so bad, is it?
Worm: It depends on the grip.
Mike: I need $15,000.
Joey: I need a blow job from Christy Turlington. Get the f*** outta here, $15,000?
Mike: It's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
Mike: (quoting a gambling maxim) You can shear a sheep many times, but skin him only once.
Worm: In the poker game of life, women are the rake man, They are the f***** rake. (No disrespect to anyone intended)
Mike: You can't lose what you don't put in the middle .... but you can't win much either.
